As I mull through the various blog topics in my mind, sometimes new ones present themselves and I add them to my mental list. This morning I saw a facebook post that hit me right between the eyes. The words in that post were exactly what I wanted to talk about.
The post was titled “Life is Too Short” and goes on to say ‘Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change.’
In a roundabout way, this is one of the points I try to make in my book about Jenny, her death and what God did with all of it afterwards. Life IS too short. People you love may be taken way long before you think they will be. God will not warn you before He takes a loved one home. He takes them according to His will, whether we are prepared or not.
So, what can we do about it? As the post said, grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. To me that means that staying angry at someone hurts me more than it hurts them. They can go on with their lives but I am stuck in the past, dwelling on the pain they caused me way back when. They can enjoy life but I’m stuck reliving the pain over and over again. All this happens because I decide to hold a grudge.
Grudges are born when there is unresolved anger and unforgiveness. Satan thrives on that. He’ll latch on to those emotions and have a field day if we let him. The only way I know to beat him at his game is to let go of anger and always forgive. That way he has nothing to latch on to and wreak havoc. Our happiness does depend on whether we decide to carry that grudge or not. I suggest the “not” part.
From my experience, the best way to diffuse anger and avoid a fight is to apologize, especially when you are at fault. Fessing up and apologizing are excellent ways to stop Satan in his tracks. His influence in the situation is depleted when a sincere apology is given. Don’t play into his hands but stop him before he can escalate the problem.
Our human nature wants us to think we are in control of our lives but in reality God is in control. Our hands are tied when it comes to changing people or our situation. The only part we can control is our attitude and reaction to our circumstances.
Do yourself a favor, let go of what you can’t change. Don’t dwell on past hurts or mistakes you made. Confess those mistakes to God and He’ll forgive you. Ask Him to heal your hurts and He will. ‘Let go and let God’ is a common yet important piece of advice.
Do yourself another favor and don’t hold a grudge. Forgive. Life IS too short. You don’t need to carry all that unnecessary junk around and you certainly don’t want to live the rest of your life with regrets because the person you were feuding with is suddenly gone. Trust me on this. I’ve been there, I am there. I know what it’s like to lose someone before the feud was resolved. As the survivor, my advice is: holding a grudge isn’t worth it.